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This is a favorite phrase of abusive or cheating partners. It may be combined with projection—accusing you of cheating. When combined with accusations, the likelihood of your partner manipulating you increases. Ask yourself, am I generally paranoid? What is making me think this? What does my gut say? Does your boss take your ideas and present them as their own without giving you credit? When you try to talk to her about it, do they brush you off? This phrase is used to shut down further dialog and the other person gets off scot-free. Although it can be hard for parents to hear when their child opens up about bad things that happened to them in childhood, healthy parents want to learn all they can about it and support their adult children. Wholesale denial that it even happened can indicate you are being gaslit. Remember, the goal of gaslighting is to get you to deny your own reality. Similar to “that never happened,” this statement is even more damaging. Telling you that you are making things up leads you to not only doubt your reality but it accuses you of trying to gaslight and manipulate them. Most of us take some pride in being open and honest people, and this phrase turns that upside down. 5. “You have always been crazy.” Watch out for “always.” Nobody is always one way. Ask yourself whether this person benefits from me thinking of myself that way. Do other people in my life think of me that way? It may help to think of past times you were not angry, crazy, bad with money, and so forth. 6. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” This may be said when you are trying to get them to understand your point of view. Or, they may not like hearing calm, reasonable questions about their behavior. It is a way of prematurely shutting down the conversation. Suppose you left some food for your partner that just needed to be heated up. They refuse to pop it in the microwave and instead blame you for their hunger. They wanted you to serve them hot food and nothing else would do. Same with anger. When you have to walk on eggshells around someone, gaslighting is likely at play. This has the added bonus of making you feel isolated. If they can convince you a reasonable person would agree with them, you will likely back down and question your own reality. If you already harbor doubts about yourself in this area, it can be hard to see the manipulation at play. 9. “It was just a joke, can’t you take a joke?” If you get upset over an insult, you may hear that it’s “just a joke” or they were “just joking.” Of course, close friends, partners, and relatives joke around with each other. But if these often come at your expense and you can’t reply in kind without negative consequences, pay attention to this. 10. “How dare you accuse me of doing that!” I never did that. You are the one who is hurting me. This is a tactic known as DARVO, deny, attack, reverse victim, and offender. This tactic, often used by narcissistic abusers, tends to work because normal people are horrified that they have hurt another person. It gets you to drop your valid concern and focus on earning forgiveness. 11. “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” This phrase may indicate a golden child/scapegoat dynamic. The golden child can do no wrong, while the scapegoat can do no right. This leaves everyone unbalanced as they compete for love and attention from the parent. 12. “I can’t have any negative emotions around you.” When defending yourself from abuse, watch out for blanket statements like this one. Perhaps you called them out and their reaction is a torrent of abuse. When you point that out, they become hysterical or cold, claiming they can’t be their true selves around you. 13. “There is something seriously wrong with you.” If every time you talk about your feelings, you are met with a version of this statement, consider the source. If they are walking away feeling superior and you are left wondering if there is, indeed, something wrong with you, who does this benefit? 14. “The Bible commands us to … ” Using religion to gaslight you is a special type of malice. Inserting themselves into your relationship with god to benefit them often works well for them, while leaving you shaken and guilty. This is a form of spiritual abuse, and it’s not okay under any circumstances. 15. “You’re not perfect, either.” When you try to bring up a grievance, the conversation quickly shifts to mistakes you’ve made in the past. There is no room for the current issue you are trying to discuss. This puts you on the defense, which is the point. 16. “Stop exaggerating.” Your concerns are not important to them, so you must be embellishing. Ask yourself, does this person usually brush off issues I bring up? Do other people in my life accuse me of exaggeration? 17. “Don’t blame me, I never meant to hurt you.” This is frustrating to hear. Intentions aside, you were hurt, and hearing this stonewalling technique stops the conversation cold. Sometimes the silent treatment will follow. This is a time to be extra kind to yourself, as you wrap your mind around what just happened. 18. “Let’s forgive and forget.” You’re a forgiving person, or at least you like to think so. If you have heard this in your religious tradition, you may feel bad about not letting it go. Remember, forgiveness is not reconciliation. You can forgive and still honor your boundaries. 19. “Why are you always bringing up the past?” Likely because nothing has been resolved. If you are trying to point out a pattern of behavior, they do not want to hear it. They have no interest in being held accountable for past abuse. 20. “This is how you treat me after everything I’ve done for you?” The ultimate guilt trip. If said by a parent, remember they are supposed to care for their children. Holding normal parenting over your head is a sure sign you are being gaslit and manipulated. 21. “We talked about this – don’t you remember?” Perhaps your partner stayed out late without telling you ahead of time. Most people will stop for a while and comb through their memories to see if this has any merit. Healthy partners would want to apologize if true, but now you are doubting your own memory. 22. “I think you need professional help.” Be wary when you are being told any variation of this. Like the play and movie of the same name, the gaslighter’s goal may be to break you completely. Convincing you that you are having a nervous breakdown is an effective way to do this. 23. “You think you’re so smart.” Especially if your abuser is threatened by your intelligence, this cutting phrase is meant to knock you down a peg or two. 24. “You have an active imagination.” This implies that you have made everything up, or at least embellished heavily. It is designed to get you to go back over the facts you are trying to assert and hopefully make you doubt yourself. 25. “You always have to be right.” Projection at its finest. When this is projected onto you, don’t take the bait. Of course, we all like to feel that we are right, but when used as a weapon, it’s about them, not you.
ONLY ONE TRIBUNAL EVER ADOPTED A PRACTICE OF FORCING COUNSEL UPON AN UNWILLING DEFENDANT IN A CRIMINAL PROCEEDING. THE TRIBUNAL WAS THE STAR CHAMBER. -U.S. v FARETTA , 422 US 806 (1975) OUTSIDE IT'S AMERICA. When speech is compelled, additional damage is done. Individuals are coerced into betraying their convictions. Forcing free and independent individuals to endorse ideas they find objectionable is always demeaning. -Thomas Jefferson
CORRUPTION EXPOSED IN THE SECRET TRIAL OF KILLERCOP.com.
Look, you know you have to look, there!! ABOVE!! It's "a person, on the left," and "the person of another," on the right. Do you understand? No? Still Baffled? (c)1997-2023 |
Judge A. Howard Matz: "Okay. Well, I'm going to deny the motions. They are "frivolous" anyway, so I will issue an order in that regard." Killercop: "It was your court-appointed attorney that filed them, created them as frivolous." Judge A. Howard Matz: "I wouldn't say they're frivolous --" Killercop: "You said they are frivolous." Judge A. Howard Matz: "That's really overstating it."
No, Howard, actually this is what overstating something looks like in reality. Now where is the CERTIFICATE REQUIRED BY THE LAW that you, Greg, Elena and Debra Yang hid from the People?
Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the court?
Judge: Of course. Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?
Judge: I'ed hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in jail.
Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?
Judge: I cant do anything about that. Theres no law against thinking.
Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.
THE TWITTER
THEY ALL IGNORED THEIR OATHS, THE FACTS, THE RULES,THE LAWS, AND THE 5TH AND 6TH AMENDMENTS AND PROCEEDED FORWARD WITH A SELECTIVVE PERSECUTION IN A SECRET HEARING. "Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." -Elie Wiesel With the above in mind, could you please help and make a small donation to support this website from being censored. TO DONATE JUST SCAN THE VENMO OR ZELLE QR CODE
CLICK HERE FOR ALL SALES OFFERS. (c)1997-2023
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